This one might actually be short. Because the solutions are so damn simple. Here we go (not to be confused with a beer-fetching dog):
1. Abolish the Department of Education. Seriously, would you want anyone in Washington teaching your children? And what could they possibly teach them? Bribery, embezzlement, clandestine sexual relations, blackmail, genocide, chicanery, fraud, misappropriation of funds, whoring, pimping, lying, cheating? Well, I think you get the idea.
This is from the U.S. Department of Education's homepage:
"ED currently administers a budget of $68.1 billion in discretionary appropriations (including discretionary Pell Grant funding) and operates programs that touch on every area and level of education. The Department's elementary and secondary programs annually serve nearly 16,000 school districts and approximately 49 million students attending more than 98,000 public schools and 28,000 private schools. Department programs also provide grant, loan, and work-study assistance to more than 15 million postsecondary students.
That said, it is important to point out that education in America is primarily a State and local responsibility, and ED's budget is only a small part of both total national education spending and the overall Federal budget [....]."
68.1 BILLION FUCKING DOLLARS. For a Cabinet department that readily admits that education is a state and local responsibility. Money that comes in to the federal government and is then sent right back out to the favorites, after Washington takes its cut for "administering" its programs. I think on the mean streets and back alleys of DC, they call thatPIMPING.
2. Every time some idiot mayor gets on the stump for money for a new stadium to make an NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL, etc. owner richer, he/she should be put in stocks in the public square and have rotten fruit and vegetables thrown at them for a day. And then wild hyenas should be released to finish off the...fruit and vegetables. Clearly, any mayor who supports this expenditure of your tax dollars is for sale to the highest bidder, and is also a complete fucking moron. At a breakfast meeting once, while knowing from my volunteer work at local schools that their buildings can barely stand, I had to listen to Jerry Sanders whore himself out to the Chargers by asking all in attendance to support a taxpayer-funded new stadium. Maybe they should focus on getting an actual coach first.
Oh, and all that money for stadiums should go to schools. And though I'm not a big supporter of additional laws, I think one that bans any taxpayer funding of sports facilities for professional teams that have monopoly exemptions and/or media blackout rights, is the least we can do to let sports owners know that they are assholes for taking money from our children's educations. There's only so much money to go around. You're fooling yourself if you think that's not the case. Every time a taxpayer-funded stadium is built, your children's education is being subjugated to your neighbor Jim and his ambiguously straight friend Bob, who get completely fucking wasted every Sunday while they cheer for your crappy NFL team. Congratulations, your children just got fucked by your neighbor. And that's something no one ever wants to hear.
3. Make a list of all the halfwit educational administrators in our country's K-12 schools (and by halfwit, I mean all of them). We can put them all in some 2" binders - I hear the Romney campaign is having a sale on surplus ones. Fire half of them. Put the money into teacher salaries and supplies.
4. If kids want to drop out of school, let them. But make sure there are vo-tech opportunities for them, so they can learn a useful trade. That's what they want to do anyway, so why are we making them sit through useless classes, leading to increased class sizes and distraction of other students?
No comments:
Post a Comment