Amendment I

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

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Friday, September 27, 2013

RIVERSIDE: Fire hydrant decorated as movie minion

One more reason to love the WorldWide Web. Even if some periodical refuses to print my letter to the editor, I can just publish it here. Case in point: this sorry-ass excuse for minion-making that was reported by the Riverside Press-Enterprise.



I think we can all agree that this looks more like a "crazy chicken" or a badly abused friar in blue. 

The following is my previously unpublished letter to the Press-Enterprise, as well as the photos that I attached.




To the Editor:

Sadly, vandalism is running rampant in our community. As is often the case in a city where citizens are actively involved in enriching and improving the quality of life for all residents, a group of do-gooders have spent considerable personal time and resources to beautify the city. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beautification. Please see photos showing these amazing contributions from our more artistic residents. 

So what is wrong? What is this vandalism of which I write? Well, shortly after these amazing municipal structures have been beautified, vandals have been disrobing these poor defenseless creatures, against their wills (see other photo). It's a true tragedy. Though some of my friends believe this to be caused by high school hoodlums overcome by "minionlust," I think the answer is much closer to home, and the intimacy is causing us to miss what is right before our eyes: overzealous landscapers. For the love of all that is sacred, let's gather together and sponsor legislation that will ban landscapers from defacing these wonderful works of art and community involvement. Only we can prevent naked minions in our midst (and also keep small children from crying). 

Sincerely,

Brent D. Tharp








Ah, so much better. Whoever made these much better examples of artistic expression, is obviously a genius.

Cheers.

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