Equal Time for All Candidates

Just because I frequently shred Apple for its paternalistic and frequently mind-bogglingly idiotic design decisions, doesn't mean I think Microsoft, Lenovo, etc., are any better (in this realm, only Alienware, Google, and Amazon are even worth mentioning). It's just that when one charges a premium for something, you expect a bit more, and Apple rarely delivers on that promise, while also dropping support for any Apple product that reaches the ripe old age of, oh, one-year plus.

Anyway, to be fair, let's take a look at this nice fail by Microsoft. At about 0:12, Mac guy questions whether the Microsoft guy can plug anything into his computer (isn't it odd that neither of these companies seems to have had a female spokesperson for their computers, ever?). Microsoft boy replies that his little piece of plastic has "a USB, Mini DisplayPort, plug away."

Beyond being terrible grammar, this is 2014, not 2004, time traveler boy. Bragging about having a two whole ports on a computer (granted, a tablet) is laughable at best. It's the whole multivalve engine thing all over again (a few years ago, a car company touted its newest model's multivalve engine in several commercials. Which is super impressive until you realize that a car engine with a single cylinder is, de facto, a multivalve engine (a combustion-engine cylinder needs two valves in order to operate).

Hey, guess what? My $200 Kindle Fire has a USB port and . . . wait for it . . . a freaking HDMI port. Oh, wait, so does my phone. And the phone owned by that woman over there. And pretty much every smartphone in existence. Which would you rather have, a Mini DisplayPort or an HDMI port? Yeah, I thought so. Try again, Microsoft.

Cheers.