Words from the Front: 10 Random Tips for Aspiring Writers

Today I'm going to begin a 10-point discourse covering a few general points about writing, probably pissing a few people off in the process. As an editor, I've seen just about everything. But one two things never changes—(1) most writers make the same errors again and again, and (2) I will always love and overuse the em dash.

But my acerbic rants may be better than the alternative—I could give you the same sugarcoated pablum spewed by the authors of many other articles about writing. There you get general tips that aren't actionable unless you already understand the technical aspects of the error being discussed. Most of these articles, in addition to being part of the Internet's great copy-and-past machine, throw out superficial cliches but don't get into the details that might communicate concepts effectively. And second, they always seem to end with some feel-good nonsense that tells you how wonderful you are, even if your writing sucks. But I won't be doing that here, so brace yourself.

Whew. Now that that's out of the way . . .

It seems you can't throw a dead cat these days without hitting a writer. Don't believe me? Next time someone asks you what you do for a living, just tell them you're an editor, or even better a publisher, and you'll soon find that everyone has written a book, is writing a book, is thinking about writing a book, or is thinking about thinking about writing a book.

These fledgling auteurs fall into three camps (three being the magic number for a series):

1. Really good writers who've finally gotten around to writing their great novel, children's book, guidebook, etc.
2. Marginally good writers with decent stories to tell, but who suffer from redundancy, flat storytelling, etc.
3. Bad writers with questionable stories that are mostly about either (a) themselves (e.g., memoirs by people we've never heard of, detailing a life that could be used as an encyclopedic entry for the term "ordinary") or (b) whatever the current "flavor of the month" is in terms of genre (think YA paranormal romance against a backdrop of zombie apocalypse). The common thread in both cases is that these authors think in terms of themselves and their need to "share" their story with the world without considering whether readers will recognize or care about the story or characters. I suppose a third category would be those who combine Sins (a) and (b) into one huge Sin-Si. 

In my experience, those in Group 1 are the most receptive to criticism and improving their writing—those in Group 3 the least.

In dishing out "help" to all these knowledge-starved (there's a bit of irony in that phrase, as we'll see) scriveners, what do the Interwebs tell them to do? Write more, read more, learn your craft, blah, blah, blah. But mostly they tell them:

"Hey, you're a good writer."

"Don't listen to those who say your writing blows."

"It's just a matter of time before you're finally discovered and your greatness is worshipped like a golden idol on Mount Vesuvius." 

This is akin to giving everyone in a potato-sack race a gold medal at the finish (even little Jimmy who fell down at the beginning, cried like a little loser, and never even finished the race because he preferred to cry to get attention, which all the parents and classmates doled out in the spirit of narcissism that now rules the day cloaked in the lingerie of utopian sameness and democracy).

But in the interest of tough love and providing a different perspective, I'd like to go out on a limb and propose something else to discouraged writers everywhere, an idea that seems to get short shrift by those in the business of selling crap (or who are just too lazy to come up with any new ideas):

"Your writing may simply suck, and no amount of work on your part will change it. Now move on with your life." 

Brutal, huh? Welcome to the real world. No pussyfooting around here. I'm not trying to sell you an all-inclusive publishing package for 20 large (google Author Solutions if you want one of those—but DON'T), so perhaps my motivations are a bit purer.

But wait, Brent. Just like I don't know what "flavor of the month" I should choose as my preferred genre, I have no idea whether or not my writing sucks . Without a whole manuscript review, how might I tell? (Tip #1—lose the "or not" after "whether"; and Tip #2—you may need to get a professional manuscript review, with "professionals" generally denoting people other than relatives, friends, children, parents, siblings, etc.)

Even though it requires that I violate one of my loose "rules" of blogging—don't write silly "top ## things blah blah blah"—I'm going to give y'all a list for determining if (a) you are doing the things you should be doing to become a better writer; (b) you have the fortitude to do the things needed to become a better writer; and (c) your writing sucks. All for the greater good.

The ten tips in these posts cover some general areas of writing, whereas future posts will deal with the finer points (the great arcana, as it were).

Tip #1 can be found here!

Cheers.