Aspiring Writer Tip #11—The Kill Test

So you've finished that manuscript, and you've had numerous peeps read it and tell you that it rocks. But how do really know for certain that your book doesn't completely suck?

The KILL TEST,

that's how.

What be that, say ye?

It's pretty simple. Take all your little characters, line them up on the edge of a big ol' gutter, and shoot them one by one. Do you care that they died? Did a little tear traverse your cheek? Perhaps a twisted hot tear left a snail trail in red from the hot pain of realizing your favorite character has been offed?

Ah, you've succeeded. Great! Except for one thing. NO ONE CARES what you think of your own characters. Now, if you can make a total stranger cry, you've accomplished something.

It doesn't matter how readers react—they can laugh, cry, smile, whatever. But if a reader is indifferent every time you cap the ass of some characters, then you've failed, my friend. Time to begin again, as some might say.

Cheers.